Truly, I did not want to write about the fallist movement, as it has come to be known. A lot has been said, some rational, some alarmist, most of it with variously good discussion that variously alienates the actual protestors. But here I am. It feels to me, recently, that a lot of what was solid in my life has melted into piles of sand.
I point to the destruction of things I hold dear - some of it quite physical. The university, where I was hoping to find, no, where I have found, sanctuary, community and a meaningful life is literally burning.
Those that are not burning have secured their safety by locking down, fortress like, their boundaries. None may enter, at least, none that the university is intended to serve. Students are banned. Knowledge seekers are banned. Academics, admin staff, and security occupy campus so much more absolutely than the #feesmustfall protestors could ever have dreamed of.
The library stands empty, silent of breaths and heartbeats, the murmur of work and frustration and boiling brains that permeated it's floors.
How does one work in such absolute quiet?
Never mind that the requirements for entry into that sacred temple - formalised, permanent academic work - have increased year on year for nearly a decade now - all young academcis all over the world feel this pressure. Like Atalanta avoiding marriage, they have run ahead of us, and few are those with golden apples to slow her down enough to catch up. The effects of this burning of my place of worship means that entry for the young, inexperienced, the next generation of priests of knowledge, will effectively close even if they meet those Atalantian requirements. There is no money, they say. But really, there is no ritual of induction anymore, nor is there a temple in which to carry out these sacred rites. It has crumbled to a pile of sand.
Perhaps this more broadly talks to the implications of the fallist movement - that there are things that should have been solid, but in fact have turned out to be piles of sand. I don't much care what they say they want at this point. Whether it is about free education, or simply about anarchy, or about race... I doubt it matters overly much, and the name calling, superficial discussions and general riddicule on all sides seem to support this notion. What does matter, what no one seems to be speaking about, is the clear, immense, potent and persistent sense of failure, loss, and hopelessness amongst the fallists.
Many promises have been made. Yeah, we can blame the ANC government, but this is much broader than them - the apartheid people made these same promises, wrapped a bit differently. These promises are that your children (the fallists) will have better opportunities than you did. That your kids, through education, and yes, university education, will have dignified, comfortable, status-laden jobs that will pay well, feel meaningful, and accrue social capital. The promises guaranteed human dignity, that others will not look down upon you, that you will be seen not just for who you are, but as a symbol of the greatness of all that a human could be.
This is far from unique to South Africa, though our history has certainly given the resulting disappointment a particular flavour. Look at how we disparage millennials, who received a participation trophy for every activity, who were told, no, convinced, entranced, bewitched into the conviction that your dreams can be made solid through personal effort... or less than personal effort, through simply holding on to them tightly enough.
It's a hard lesson to learn that you are not, in fact, particularly special. That there are no dream jobs (and in all likelihood, that there are no jobs at all - unemployment is growing world wide). That no matter how hard you hold on to your dream, or, how hard you actually work (and statistically, millennials work numbers of hours last seen during the industrial revolution), your dreams will not come true. More to the point, that your work will keep on enriching, benefiting, others. Others who promised you dignity and equality yet you are still calling them 'sir'. Or, locally, 'boss'.
But alright, let us set aside the failed promises. Boo on them for being so naive, am I right? More direly, the fallist movement is pointing out a bunch of 'truths' that we are not talking about. Degrees might mean jobs, but the skills they teach you, well. That seems less certain. The piece of paper, for whom these fallists are willing to disrupt entire universities, seem to mean so much more to them than what they could have been learning in the mean time. And even that - the piece of paper may be worth more than any possible skills, but even so, it's not worth very much. Certainly not worth preserving the right of others to get it while protesting.
More basically, screaming, burning and shouting is the only way to be heard. Look, it's true, as every university has self-defensively pointed out, that they have been asking for more money every year for a decade now... but that has gotten us where, exactly? Even now, by refusing negotiations, the fallists are calling attention to the fact that these negotiations won't get them anywhere. It would be naive of me to think that these negotiations would accomplish much of anything, given that more powerful institutes (universities themselves) have not managed to achieve anything. No, we should not be fooled into thinking these guys don't know what they're doing.
In larger South African society, the repetitive strikes, especially around the mines and the service industry, underscores my point. A deep dissatisfaction remains, beyond salary numbers. There is no human dignity here.
Let me not further indulge in divisive strategy. These fallists? They are me. They are you. Even when you are not out there burning buildings. I can feel the frustration in my bones that things I believed, beyond belief, that I knew without a doubt were true - hard work leads to success, dreams are achievable, equality is possible, humans will always be heard and respected - are so clearly illusions. Piles of sand.
I'm not encouraging destruction. Far from it. I'm asking, what has already been destroyed, that was supposed to be solid, that makes this situation seem like the only alternative for so many?
