The Talos Report

Talos here, reporting on the walk as it happened today, 1 September 2015.

Much like any other day, we were harnessed and ran to the gate barking and chasing. Leashed up we took the Guinea fowl route, Kira's favourite. We barked at He-who-stares, and we sniffed the pee-mail tree on the corner. Kira tried to mark it 'read', there was a minor miscommunication and I got marked read instead. Oh well, nothing a nice roll in the grass won't fix!

Some person with no respect for my majestic fawnness did not stop at the corner to watch us pass. We crossed after they had left. Such indignation. Still, quite forgivable, given the wonderful aroma that awaited us on the other side.

Nina said something that sounded like 'fertiliser'. She's wrong... it's poop! Glorious, glorious poop! Kira wasted no time and rolled to her hearts' delight. I can tell you the flavour was most excellent. Just the right age, about a week old, with a distinctly grass-fed bovine air to it. Soft, crumbly and nicely moistened by the kind hearted people who placed it on the grass for us to enjoy.

I guess it's due to the distracting nature of finding such a prize that neither Kira nor I noticed how Nina had completely changed colour. Her normal pinkish brown was replaced by a yellowy green. How odd! I wonder if this is normal, but I suspect the only way to tell is with more observation. I wonder if it's because she completely refused to join us?

After we had had our fill of merde de vache we rounded the corner to spot the flock of Guinea fowl strutting about right in the road. Two cocks and many hens, and even more chicks! Of course, Nina waits for us to look at her and sit before we all run after them, but that's no problem at all! Even Kira gets this right... took her long enough to learn it though.

You know the best thing about those spotted birds? They leave bits of feathers all over the place. I picked up a nice big one to carry home.

... That might have been a mistake, though. You see, my lovely trophy attracted He-who-fetches, a labrador out on an evening stroll much like us. He-who-fetches took my feather, he was friendly but firm in this matter. That's still tolerable, I am a generous Queen. The trouble is in taking my feather, he sniffed my head, which as we all know clearly marks me 'read'. Like any good pee-mail user, he felt obligated to indicate that he had also read the message. But he is no Kira, his font is enormous, bold, underline and in 72p.

So, friends, this concludes my report on todays walk, that was otherwise uneventful.

Signing off from the bath, where I'm now on my second round of shampoo,
Talos
ps. Kira was bathed first. Something about building up the emotional fortitude to deal with a sopping wet pug? Humans can be quite strange.

The Competition

It was a glorious winter's day on the highveld. The sky was azure blue, the veld gold and crisp, and a cool wind kept our Fawn Maiden comfortable as she napped in the bright sunshine. All was peaceful. Except...
Her ear twitched. The wind carried sounds of an argument towards her.
"You're wrong! Small and agile is the best!"
"No, little one, it is you that are wrong. It is by far better to be big and strong."
The Fawn Maiden yawns as she opens her eyes.
"O, really? That big body could never keep up with me!"
"Yes, really! You may get there first, but those tiny teeth could never crush a bone!"
In front of her basking spot, her two friends stood arguing.






The Dusky Lady snapped: "well, come over here, and I'll show you tiny teeth!", to which the Loping Gent replied: "Ha! You could only nibble at my ankles!"
"Good morning!" said the Fawn Maiden.
Both black dogs turn to her with a start. They were so absorbed in their argument that they did not see her sleeping there.
"Say, Fawn Maiden, perhaps you can settle this for us?" asked the Loping Gent. "You see, I am convinced that it is better to be big and strong, while the Dusky Lady over here believes it is better to be small and agile. You are clever, and a good judge of character, help us out of this dilemma?"
"Yes, which of us is the better dog?" Asks the Dusky Lady.
"The better dog? My word, what a question. You both have your strengths, you are both excellent dogs!" the Fawn Maiden answered.
"That may be so, Fawn Maiden, but which of us is more excellent than the other?" pressed the Loping Gent.
"If you insist on finding an answer, Loping Gent, perhaps we should hold a contest. That would be more fair than simply relying on my say so."
Both the Dusky Lady and the Loping Gent agreed that that was a splendid idea, and so, the three friends set off to a place to test themselves.








"There will be three contests. The first one," the Fawn Maiden explained "will be a test of speed. Whoever can make it to the top of this cliff first will be declared the winner of the first contest."
"Ha! I've got this one in the bag." said the Loping Gent. "I'll be up there in three big leaps."
The Dusky Lady scoffed. "You'll try, big guy, but those big feet of yours won't find anywhere to grip. Three big flops, right into the dust, more likely!"
The Fawn Maiden nimbly hopped up the cliff, using tiny footholds for small leaps, and larger surfaces for big leaps. She did not go too quickly, but took her time to make sure her footing was stable before she moved on. Once at the top, she told her companions that they may begin, and that she will check to see who makes it up to her first.







True to his word, the Loping Gent ran up to the cliff and made a gigantic leap, trying to get as much height as he can. He used all his might, his muscles first bunched then drawn taught, like a bowstring, as he flew through the air.







The Dusky Lady stormed the cliff, and scrabbled desperately up the sheer face. At his first leap, the Loping Gent was nearly half way up already! She dug in her nails and wiggled her legs and climbed and climbed with all her might. When the Loping Gent gathered himself for his second leap before she had even reached half way she thought all was lost, but he did not look before he leapt, and had nowhere to grip when he landed. His nails screeched as he tried for a foothold, but to no avail. He slid all the way down the cliff until he sat in the dust.
This gave the Dusky lady a chance to get ahead. As she neared the top she heard the Gent leap again, and she knew she had to hurry. In her rush she did not see that what she thought was rock, was in fact a small lizard sunning himself. The suddenly squishy surface under her paw alarmed her and she leapt back, landing just below where the Loping Gent had just landed.

"Ha!" He laughed, "I'll see you at the top!" and he leapt once more, with all his might. But her scrabbling was a better method for scaling cliffs, because as once more the Loping Gent slid to the sand below, she made it to the top.

"The Dusky Lady has won" called the Fawn Maiden loudly, and more softly, so only he would hear, "would you prefer us to climb down to you, Loping Gent?"
He nodded his head and turned away, muttering that there is no reason for a self respecting dog to go climbing cliffs any way.
Together, the Dusky Lady and the Fawn Maiden hopped down the cliff.








"The next challenge will be one of endurance. You will race to the rock stack, North of us, on the other side of the Magalliesberg. It is an hour away, more or less."

"Oh, that suits me just fine!" says the Dusky Lady. "I am fit, strong and in excellent condition, I can easily run all the way there."
"Yes, that's fine by me too. There is no way this little Lady will get there before me! But tell me, Fawn Maiden, how will we be judged?" asked the Gent.
"Do not worry, Loping Gent, I will be at the finish to check who gets there first." answered the Fawn Maiden.
The Dusky Lady asked if she knew a shortcut, that she could so confidently say she'll arrive first.

"Something like that" she said. "Now, there is yet another contest after this one, so we'd best get started."
Fawn Maiden had barely spoken those words when Dusky Lady and Loping Gent set off as fast as their legs could carry them.








Winter is bone dry and the winter sun beats down on the veld without remorse. The direct route, with both the Dusky Lady and the Loping Gent had set off on would be dusty and hot, with no shade and no water. The Fawn Maiden knew this, so she planned her route to the rock stack to go along the river for most of the way. This would allow her to trot in the cool shade, and will let her drink as much water as she would like. She had no shortcut, in fact, her planned route was longer than the direct path. Knowing that the easy route is often faster than the direct route, she set of at a fast but comfortable trot to her destination.
Just about an hour later she saw the rock stack in front of her.







Neither of the other two had arrived yet, as she anticipated. So, she sat down and waited for them.








About half an hour later, two tired, dusty dogs came walking up to where she sat. The Loping Gent collapsed down, and the Dusky Lady put her head on his back for support.

"We made it!" he sighed.

"It was so very hot and dry" she added. "He outran me at first, but I passed him panting in the dust not too long after. Then I had to lie down too, which is where he found me. After that, we traveled together"
"I am glad you are safe, friends" said the Fawn Maiden. "It seems to me this is a tie."
"Agreed!" Said the other two in unison. They were simply too tired to argue.
After a rest, the Fawn Maiden asked if they were ready for the final test.

"We are, I believe" said the Loping Gent, his statement confirmed by a nod from the Dusky Lady.




"The final test is a hunt", said the Fawn Maiden. "Whoever catches a guinea fowl first will be the winner".

"I will overpower such a small bird! This is no problem at all." said the Loping Gent, and set off into the veld.
"Ah, what a fool!" the Dusky Maiden said. "You catch prey by agility, not by force!" She too set off to find her prey. Not too much time later, she was stalking up to where the fowls were hunting grubs among the bush willows. Her focus narrowed to a fine point, her whole body waiting for just the right moment to strike.





The time was right, the bird blinded by the slanting sunlight. She leapt, there could be only one conclusion... When suddenly the Loping Gent burst into the clearing, scattering the birds. Squawking they fled away from the two dogs, and in her great frustration the Dusky Lady turned her anger on the Gent. Laughing at her, he ran just quickly enough to keep out of reach of her white teeth.







Soon enough, though, they forgot their quarrel, and resolved to go and hunt in separate areas. Not too much later, the Loping Gent brought a fowl to the Fawn Maiden, followed shortly by the Dusky Lady.
"Well done both of you!" she said. "But, seeing as Loping Gent was back first, he won this contest."

"That's right" he said, and puffed up his chest. "I won!"
"So what's the final result, Fawn Maiden? Who is the best dog?" The Dusky Lady asked.

"It's a tie" the Gent said. "You climbed the cliff faster than me, but I caught a bird before you. We shan't mention that horrible race."
Then, they noticed that the Fawn Maiden was surrounded by guinea fowl feathers.

"Did you catch one?" they asked.
The Fawn Maiden answered yes. "When you chased them up, Loping Gent, they were confused and scared, and not watching where they were landing. I simply had to position myself nearby and wait for it to land near me. I ate it while I was waiting for you two to come back. But yes, it is indeed a tie. You are both the best dogs.
Now, friends, shall we head home?"








On the way home, the Dusky Lady and the Loping Gent looked at each other. Whispering, one asked the other if they also felt a bit like they'd been had. The other agreed. They confronted her. She had in fact done all of the challenges, and finished all of them the fastest!
Laughing, she said that you need not be strong or fast if you are clever!

Wildflower

Old Cabbage Tree was watching the sun set over the hill one night, when he heard a deep sigh coming from underneath him. He spotted a small black dog, hiding between the rocks that anchor his roots. He would have ignored the creature, many mammals seek shelter for the night near him, but when another sigh escaped the Little Black Dog's mouth, he found himself too distracted to ignore her.

Rustling it's leaves, the Old Cabbage Tree asked Little Black Dog what had made her sigh so sadly, and why she is hiding here in stead of home with her family.

She explained that early that morning, she had come upon the most beautiful flower, glistening with dew. It stood tall and proud above the grasses, a soft yellow with a dark center.

Now, quite confused, Old Cabbage Tree pointed out that seeing beautiful things are a reason to rejoice, not be sad. But the little black dog explained that she realised, as she looked at that flower, that she was the opposite of what she saw. She was neither light, nor delicate, nor tall. She does not stand proudly above the grasses, nor does the dew glisten in the morning sunlight on her fur.

"I am not beautiful, Old Cabbage Tree, and that makes me very sad."

Old Cabbage Tree took a moment to consider. He observed the little dog underneath him closely. Just as she was beginning to squirm under his scrutiny, he spoke up.

"It is true, Little Black Dog, that you are not like that flower."

His words made her shrink into herself.

"But, that does not mean you are not beautiful. Look here:"

He directed the wind around himself, gently parting a clump of grass. There, deep amongst the yellow shafts, was a small, bright red flower.

"Do you see that flower?" he asked her.

It was no bigger than her nostril, and she only noticed it when she had gotten up and inspected the parted clump closely.

"Is it not lovely?" he asked her.

She nodded, it was a beautiful little flower indeed.

Old Cabbage Tree explained. Some things are like the morning flower, tall and proud and easy to notice. Most everyone can tell that they are beautiful.

"That is fine and good, and I am glad to have such beauty in the world", he said, "but some things are not like that. Some things carry their beauty close to their heart, like a secret. It is not a fault of theirs that they are like this - they are still very beautiful, like that red flower there.

In stead of being cultivated beauties, like your dew-flower this morning, they are wildflowers. Because their beauty is harder to see, some overlook it. Sometimes, they even overlook it themselves."

He dropped a piece of bark pointedly near her.

"Remember, Little Black Dog, it's not their fault if others fail to see their beauty. That does not mean that it is not there, and that it is not truly wonderful".

Little Black Dog looked up at his leaves, watching the late sunlight filter through them.

"Thank you, Old Cabbage Tree." she said, and turned to depart, feeling much happier.

"A last secret, before you go, Little Dog."

She pricked an ear his way, listening intently.

"Some even prefer the hidden beauty of a wildflower. Like me"

She could not help but smile as she headed to her home.

Dogs and happiness

I'm not here to talk about soul-fulfilling, enduring, long term happiness. That needs a lot more than a dog (or maybe, a lot less than a dog, given that it probably comes from inside of you and is at least partly a decision). I'm here to talk about that wonderful pick-me-up that you can get from spending time interacting with a dog.

No nonsense here, this is a scientifically studied phenomenon. Those same feelings you got when you are newly in love? A dog is a perpetual source of those. Simply sitting with your dog and gazing into their eyes has your body making lovely bunches of the stuff, but even better than that, your dog typically likes to move and be active, so if you have a dog, you are much more likely to move and be active ... and it's no secret that regular exercise is pretty essential to keeping a positive outlook on life. Elle from legally blonde had it right:

" Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't."

So, having a dog makes you happy. This is starting to sound like a "get a puppy" commercial (or an adopt a dog pamphlet, which might be even better if your main aim is a happiness provider). Might I mention that dogs reduce the risk of heart disease massively too?

Heh. Not really what I want to write about. Nor is an 'adopt a dog' message what I want to get at (dog ownership is a lot of work too, so never just impulsively get one).  What I actually want to write about is the specific things that my dogs and I get up to that makes me happy. There are three of them, physical touch, activities, and play.

1. Physical touch

My little pug, Talos, is a great source of physical touch and comfort to me. She's not a touchy-feely dog by any measure, she rarely stands still for petting and even more rarely enjoys it (a quick wrinkle rub is enjoyable, but that's about it). What she does do, though, is put herself on my lap and just stays there, napping, watching TV, or my computer screen, or just the world going by. She's done this since she was absolutely tiny.

Dis is my lap. Yoo mus go find other one.

She also cuddles while we sleep. Carding my fingers through her soft, soft fur is one of my day's great pleasures. She has a sense of when you're feeling less than wonderful too, and then, she makes extra effort to be near you.

2. Activities

Let's go do stuff! Both my dogs like getting out there and doing stuff. Be it tracking, or just a walk around the neighbourhood, they're almost always ready to go. If I'm feeling particularly low, taking them to a park with other humans and other dogs almost guarantees positive, pleasant human and canine interaction. I simply cannot feel sad while amusing children with your pets' antics (one having her belly rubbed, the other coaxing them into a game of chase or doing tricks for them). Getting your pooch and going to a class has much the same effect for me. We go, we work towards a goal with other people, and like magic your internal happiness tank is a little fuller.

Some days when I just don't want to see other people, getting out into nature makes a big difference too. If your dogs are reasonably healthy and willing to come back when you call, try a short nature hike (if their recall is less great, do the same but with a long line...). It is both really nice to just get out, and to watch your dogs just being dogs without the pressure to behave that is sometimes present around a house or in daily life. Plus, it's pretty!

So very, very pretty!

3. Play

This is the big one. Here's a challenge for you. Be sad. Very, very sad. Then look at these:

Is dere something in mah jowl?

Er mer ribbon!

No one can resist my play!

CRRRAZY EYES!

Feel better? Not yet? Have some more!





















Now? Excellent. Go play with your dog :)

Basically, one of the key parts of my happiness is my dogs. I'd bet they do the same for you, if you'd let them.

On friendship and love (and Valentine's day)

Tell me now,

happy Valentines

why all your florid praise

and erudite verses 

somehow fail to wow? 

Could it be that love 

or friendship 

is not a summer's day 

or a red, red rose 

or the cooing of a dove? 

No, to me it would seem 

love is nothing less 

or more 

than two curls mirrored 

in black and cream

Things you may not have tried - Tracking

On Saturday mornings, at 5:30, three normally markedly more nocturnal creatures rise from their slumber, and head for a congregation of like minded people in one field or another. 

Mornings are simply the most beautiful part of a day. The world is fresh and new, seemingly sparkling with delight in the soft sunshine. 

But we are not out here to admire the beautiful morning, no. Well, not entirely. We are here to plant a pole in the ground, and armed with a chunk of raw animal, walk away from that pole in strange patterns, carefully counting out steps as we go. 

Look carefully, and you can spot the human walking in a straight line away from the pole, laying a track.
Tip: She's in front of the mine dump.

At the end of your particular pattern, which, for those just starting out is a straight line, but for those quite advanced can be an 'R' shape, an 'h' shape, or even the infamous 'B', you commit your chunk of animal to the care of the grassy field, step over it, and carefully walk back to where the cars are parked and the dogs are waiting eagerly. Beginner dogs will set out nearly straight away, but more experienced dogs can wait for a long time, sometimes several hours, or even a day, before they are asked to follow their track.

Kira is not one for overt shows of excitement. Sure, she likes treats, and she loves belly rubs, but aside from the most wonderful dance for her daily walk and the occasional bone, she maintains an air of stoic dignity. Not so at the tracking fields. Impatiently she barks at you from her crate as soon as she becomes aware of your approach. She can barely stand still for her harness to come on, can barely contain herself as you clip the ten meter long line to it. 

C'mon Nina!

Impatiently she jumps up at me, prompting me to get to the starting pole faster, faster.

When we reach the pole, magic happens. You approach the pole you planted and touched, and Kira changes. Her whole self awareness shrinks down to her nose, and after what seems like the briefest of sniffs at the base of the pole, we're off. I let the line play out until she's about seven meters away from me, enough distance to let her work on her own, but close enough that I am there, performing my duty of marking the last known point where she was correctly on the track. Mine are small dogs, Kira nearly disappears into the summer grass.

#smalldogproblems

Following an invisible path through a field, one consisting of your scent only, that your human eyes cannot see, that you have only the barest of remembrance of exactly where you stepped, is a humbling experience. Kira tracks well over 300 meters, and while I definitely have the general gist of where I went, she can tell me where I stepped and how long I lingered there. Halfway along, her track veers sharply to the right - we are teaching her to do corners, is the official reason. This seems absurd, though, when Kira takes the corner without stopping, without hesitation. She just smoothly turns right and continues. Teach her this, this skill that is as basic to her as breathing? We are fooling ourselves. 

Om nom nom!

Of course, this whole adventure is hardly humbling for Kira, who delights in forging ahead at great speed, occasionally looking back with a grin as if to laugh at me and my inadequate senses. 

Sooner than you think, Kira is upon her prize, and while I sing her praises she eats it.

Where Kira is just amazing at tracking, unstoppable, unflappable, and with a confidence and accuracy that belies her short career, Talos is not. Compared to Kira, to me, Talos seems downright slow, but in all fairness, she is about average at this tracking game. Slow, methodical, and insisting upon dead silence while she works, where Kira could not care less if you were to pull out a marching band and dance a can-can, as long as you walk faster, already. 

Talos also nearly disappears into the lushness of summer.

Talos tracks a hundred meters, despite having been at this for much longer. But I am proud of every step, because malicious rumour has it that pugs cannot do this. I can truthfully say rumour is false, that while Talos is average, she is as good as any other average dog. I am quite sure there are pugs that are better at this, with more focus for this kind of task, as I am quite sure that there are fairy-headed basset hounds that will be quite inept, though I suspect both cases are about equally rare. Either way, learning independent working, and learning to both use, and trust their nose, is a great skill we must encourage in our dogs - most especially those who tend to ignore it!

Good pug. That will most definitely do.

This does not take away from the fact that my little pug sniffs her starter pole, and sets out on her invisible path into the field, leading me to the prize. We are developing her confidence, as you can see, we crossed a footpath this morning - difficult for many dogs, they tend to follow along the path in stead of sniffing out the fainter scent of their own human leading back into the brush. But no problems here, slowly, carefully my puggy lady sniffed my trail, and slowly, carefully she sniffed the path, before moving right over it and back into the tall grass.

Hers was a very well earned reward at the end, today.

Talos is never one to let an opportunity to have fun pass her by. 

Afterwards, what would a good morning be without some frolicking in the grass?

At tracking, the silly side of Kira comes out, and she happily bounds through the tall grass, chasing fairies that only she can see. Undoubtedly the star of the morning, her normally reserved self just can't help it. Whee!

With this in mind, do consider giving tracking a go. Unlike many dog sports, you need next to no equipment, and while handling a long line and learning to read your dog's body language take a bit of finesse, both are easily learnt with a bit of practice. 

You will need a long line, which is quickly made out of some rope and a clip, a harness, which you likely have already, and a chunk of meat from the butchery. These are easy and useful things to have anyway, and while you can often borrow one, the pole is little more than a broomstick with a spike on one end. In our experience, the trainers gently, slowly, encouragingly coax your dog over time - you cannot force a dog to track.

The activity is suitable even for physically less strong dogs, like Talos, they merely need to be able to move forwards (though, if like my two, you will track through tall grass, some fitness may be required for them to keep bunny hopping for 300 meters, like Kira tries to do). 

It's really hard work for the dogs, despite the relatively physically undemanding nature. Both of them sag down into their crates when we head home afterwards and are completely out for the whole drive and for most of the rest of the day. Well earned sleep, I say!

To recap, the good and bad of tracking:

Good:

The sheer magic of 'seeing' through a dog's nose

Really easy to get started

Little to no equipment needed

Physically relatively undemanding for both dog and human - both must be able to walk for moderate distances

Encourages independent thought and confidence in a dog

Safe even for dog/human reactive dogs - dogs are on lead, and widely spaced in a large area

Bad:

Early mornings

Involves some travel to get to large open spaces

Can be very slow paced

Lots of exposure to ticks

Dating site profile: Bane (or, am I your dog?)

Introducing Bane, a sleek, glossy black boy with so much love to give.

Am I your dog? 

Bane is two years old, male, neutered and has gorgeous brown eyes with short, black fur with a white patch on his chin, chest and tiny bit of white on his toes. He weighs about 40 kilograms.

Bane is everything you could want in a big, bouncy dog. He loves to swim and he loves to play games. He would love long walks and play sessions in the park, but sadly, right now, he can't get those. Bane and his house mate, a female dog, do not get on very well, and with only one human between them there simply is not enough time or energy to give both dogs what they need.

Bane is very, very excited about new doggy friends, so much so that his enthusiasm can be a bit scary to other dogs, landing him in trouble. Taking a bit of time to slowly introduce him to many friends should help with this, though - he's not a bad boy, just a bouncy boy!

Bounce is not all this hunky hound has to offer. He is a champion cuddler, and would like nothing more than to curl up with you and watch a movie or a game. Even better if you would share your popcorn - that's right, this boy loves treats!

Bane has been very well cared for, he has all of his vaccines and has been regularly seen by a good vet. He has eaten only good quality dog food. He lives in Johannesburg, but he can easily get to anywhere within an hour or two's drive.

Could this be just the dog you were looking for? Comment below, drop me an email, send a smoke signal... This boy needs a home!